For My Friends…because You Asked :)

Because you all asked for it…here you go. Today’s blog post is about my three kids cutting their own hair. Let me premise this post with something. I have to tell you I had a dental implant put in on Friday so I’m still a little loopy. Okay, with that being said, I’ve asked the kids to have extra patience with me as I parent them during fall break. I think that was mistake number one. I let my wall down. I let my guard down. I’m pretty sure that was my kids’ “in” for taking full advantage of mom.

We woke up this morning all rested and happy. I slept a straight 12 glorious hours and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself when I woke up. I was (don’t tell anyone) still tired. Do you think it had anything to do with the whole idea the more sleep you get the more tired you will be? I made my cup of coffee and turned on the news. My kids got their allotted phone time in the morning and all was well. I made everyone breakfast, did some laundry, let the kids play and jumped in the shower. I should have known something was wrong when I saw my 4-year-old holding the kitchen scissors. That might have been mistake number two. Not sure, but pretty sure.

I actually believed her when she told me “no reason” when I asked her why she had the scissors. I simply put the scissors away and that was that. I think that was the medicine reacting and not my normal ‘mom’ self. It wasn’t until I went upstairs and saw the mass destruction in the playroom that I lost it. That’s when everything went blurry. I started yelling at the kids to pick up the mess and when I walked into the upstairs bathroom to throw something away…that’s when I saw it. Hair. Chunks of blonde hair on the floor. What the…? DYLAN!!!! When Dylan looked at me I saw it. The shag haircut underneath what used to be his bangs. Was telling him he looked like Justin Bieber a mistake? Was he really trying to look like Bieber now? I won’t bore you with our conversation because it was exactly how you think it would be between a 9-year-old and his mom after she found out he cut his hair and then encouraged his two little sisters to do the same. ‘Nough said.

This is our fall break. I think I’m naive. I think that is mistake number three. I thought we were past all of this little kid stuff of cutting hair without asking. I thought taking showers by myself was the ordinary and something only new moms with babies had to worry about. Guess not. Guess my kids showed me that you’re never too old to do things you’re not supposed to do. Here’s to one more day of fall ‘break’ for the Ruffings. I am looking forward to Thursday when school is back in session. I love my kids but I also like it when they have hair on their heads.

Also, I have the coolest friends in the world because more than one has called me pretending to be a client asking for a haircut. You guys are the best 🙂

An Open Letter to Moms

Dear Moms,

I have met so many of you lately – mostly through social media – who seem to be struggling with the same things that we’re all struggling with: loneliness, hurts, habits, hang ups, communication, friendship, marriage, family, children, and so on. I’ve thought quite a bit about what I could say that would be enough to tell you how much I care and how many times I want to say, “Me too.” Can I start by saying, I get it? I know I don’t have all the answers. Heck, I might not have any of the answers you’re looking for but I do have compassion, love, understanding, grace, and a whole lot of experience surrounding so many of these issues.

Over the past week, I’ve had several women contact me through private message about specific things going on in their lives and wanted to know, Had I been through that too? What did I do? I wanted so badly to reach through the computer to hug them and tell them yes, I have been through that and it’s tough or actually, I’m going through that currently. Sometimes I did say that. But mostly, I just listened. When I was going through my first few years as a new mom, I found some of the most helpful women to be those who just sat and listened to me. Who gave me their time and invested in me as a person. I hope I’m doing that for some of you right now.

I’ve realized and have understood this fact for many years now, that we’re all so similar. When we feel like we’re the only ones; we’re not. When we feel like our kids must be acting out more than others; they’re not. When we feel like someone else’s marriage is perfect; it’s not. When we feel like we’re failing at this mothering thing; we’re not. The truth is, we share so many of the same hurts. If we will be brave enough to let down our walls and say, “Me too,” our motherhood circle becomes that much smaller, closer, and truer. Be that friend if you can. Be that light to someone’s dark moment if you can. Be that positive thing to someone else’s negative thing. I promise you will see amazing things happen. You will make friends. You will gain confidence. You will walk with more oomph in your step. You will realize you are making a difference in another mom’s life. And when you do, your heart will want to burst with joy. For the next time you find yourself in a lonely moment, a hard choice, a tough time, or a new season in your life, you will have a tight group of friends who will be their fill in the gaps, wipe the tears, and walk alongside you.

 

xoxo, Meagan