I was diagnosed with clinical depression almost 15 years ago. I was in college and going to therapy once a week but still couldn’t get my thoughts to move in a positive direction. When I started taking medication for my depression – it was like a whole new world opened up for me. I felt like myself again. I was able to bounce from one thing to another without the weight of questioning every decision. Fast forward to today and I find myself going through a medication change and feeling all of those helpless, negative thoughts I felt so long ago. That’s the thing about depression – it has the power to take you down out of nowhere.
The difference between then and now is that I have 3 children…3 little children and I am still very much in the thick of parenthood. Sure, there are no more binkies or diapers or sleepless nights but there are hurt feelings, let downs, and boo boos that still demand my attention. I am a mom with littles who has depression and sometimes it’s really, really hard to get out of bed.
Sometimes I find myself questioning every parenting decision big and small. Should I have let her have the IPAD that long this morning? Should I have allowed him to stay at his friend’s house all day? Did I read enough to my kids today? Am I messing them up? You may be thinking, we all have those feelings and I don’t suffer from depression…the difference for those of us with depression is that these little talks we have with ourselves in our heads are debilitating. They consume us. They stop us from continuing on with our day. They cripple us. They make us feel like we can’t breathe. They make us question EVERYTHING. It is a battlefield in my head and I can’t stop it.
I’m a pretty open book but I don’t normally talk about depression with my friends because I usually have it under control. And really, who wants to talk about this stuff anyways? It’s hard to understand and explain to people who don’t know what it feels like. It’s also hard to be a mom when you feel like you’re not doing a good job. I know this is the depression talking and it’s not reality but I want you to know if you’re reading this and you are a mom who has depression or thinks she has depression – you can feel better. There are ways to get out of the pit. There are things you can do to help you get out of bed even when you can’t think past getting out of bed.
Start with one small step today. Just do one small thing to feel better. That will look different for each of you. It might be calling your doctor and scheduling an appointment to talk about what you’re feeling if meds are right for you. It might be calling a therapist and scheduling your very first appointment. It might be telling your husband you think you’re depressed even though you have an amazing life. It might be taking extra care of yourself today by not having a to do list. It might be just sitting on the couch, holding your children because you don’t know what else to do.
If you are a mom with littles who is suffering from depression, know this – it will pass. These feelings will pass and you will feel better again. You will feel like yourself again and you will get through this.
I found this checklist on the Internet and I think it’s a great place to start if you don’t know if you have depression. Hang in there mama. You’re doing a great job and this will pass.
Thank you to everyone who has bought my book and plans on buying my book, “I See You: Helping Moms Go from Overwhelmed to In Control”. Your support and encouragement mean the world to me and I want you to know I read each and every one of your comments, posts, and emails. Keep them coming! Almost 200 of my books are out in the world right now and I’m praying each one of those books lands right in the hands of a mama who needs to hear the words I so desperately want her to hear, You are amazing and You are enough.
In the spirit of the new year coming upon us, I’d like to extend an invitation to you. I am taking the contents of my book one step further and will be helping a handful of you with diving deeper into the area of creating margin in your life. I only have 4 spots left and it will be on a first come, first serve basis. Once I reach my total of 6 women, I will close this workshop. Want to know what the heck I’m talking about? Glad you asked! Check out these details:
The “Overwhelmed to In Control” Mastermind Workshop will be a 4-week time investment.
- You must have the book, “I see You” and have read it since we will be working directly from that.
- The whole point of this workshop is to help you create margin in your life to free up space where you might be feeling overwhelmed. So, you will need to want to make it a priority to sort out whatever it is that is overwhelming you in your life. I can’t make that a priority for you. Only you can do that. I can help you sort things out and set a plan and give you direct access to me.
- You will get access to me for 4 weeks. What that means is that you can email me, call me, and private message me on Facebook with questions you have about the book and I will make you my priority in responding to your questions/comments.
- I will provide you with daily prompts every morning, delivered right to your inbox (31 to be exact) that will help you jump start the idea of creating more margin in your life. Here is an example of a prompt you would receive: Day 1 – Today, I want you to make your bed. It doesn’t have to be perfect but I do want you to make this a priority. If you are someone who already makes your bed, kudos to you! I challenge you to take it one step further and change your sheets today. There’s something about making your bed that sets the tone for the entire day. If you get too busy in the morning and miss the opportunity, don’t worry, just do it when you get back home and give yourself 5-10 minutes to make it happen.
- We will be using the Overwhelmed to In Control worksheets in the back of the book. Please be prepared to either write in your book, photocopy the pages or print them from my website. I know these have been unavailable on my website in the past but the link is now fixed. You can find them here.
- We will also be using the ABC Scripture Cards . I have a fun way we’re going to use these to help us throughout our 4 weeks together.
- I will be offering an introductory rate for this first workshop and it will be available to only 6 women. I have 4 spots left and would love for you to join us! The cost for this 4-week workshop is $29.95. That’s less than a dollar a day! After this first round, the Overwhelmed to In Control workshop will go up in price to $99.95.
- Workshop begins on Sunday, January 1, 2017. Will you be there?
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve blogged and I have good reason for that. I’ve been struggling with who I am lately. Let me explain. I’ve always known, since I was just a little girl, that I wanted to do something amazing…something huge….something that would change the world. I’ve always had a passion for getting to know people and wanting to hear what their story is, what makes them who they are, where they come from, what makes them tick, what makes them happy…you get the idea. This dream of mine has changed over the years, no, actually it’s morphed into different things here and there as I’ve gotten older. High school for me was about surviving. College was finding myself. Post college was settling down with my man. Becoming a mom was a dream come true and now, now I’m coming full circle and accomplishing some bucket list things I’ve always known I’d do.
The main change in all of this was that I didn’t know Jesus growing up. I didn’t get to know him until I was pregnant with Dylan. A lot has changed since then. I’m not the same person and so my ideas about what I could accomplish to change this world have swayed a little bit. I no longer want to be known for writing a book. I want to be known for being a catalyst for moms everywhere, to give themselves more grace than they ever have before and yes, a book will have been birthed out of that. I want to be that resource for women who are struggling to get out of bed each day because they’re depressed and don’t know why. I just want to be me. And if I’m going to be me, I can’t do that without Jesus.
The past few weeks have been emotionally draining. I’ve lost sleep, overeaten, over thought, and overshared when I should have been on my knees praying. I was scrolling Facebook in the wee hours of the night when I should have been scrolling scripture to guard myself with truth. It’s true. God meets us right where we’re at; even if it’s in messy places…especially when we’re in messy places. That’s where He does His best work. He fine tunes us during tiring times, overwhelming times and, times when we’re not sure we’re doing anything right. I need Jesus. I just can’t do life without Him. And so, you might see a different side of me. A more vulnerable, raw side of me. But I promise it’s the real me, always has been.
If you’re in the trenches right now…if you’re just trying to hold on – whether it’s through a friendship, a miscarriage, a heartbreak, a rumor, a fight, a failed job, an overwhelming season – hold onto this, His word never comes back void and He will carry you through any obstacle – no matter where your view may be.
I’ve been feeling kind of rushed lately. Kind of, well, overwhelmed at times. I have to laugh at this for a moment because my whole platform is helping moms go from overwhelmed to in control. But then I reminded myself that the whole reason I started this movement was because I was that overwhelmed mom and heck, I am that overwhelmed mom at times. I stopped the think about why I’ve been feeling this way and a rush of thoughts and emotions just flooded over me.
I’m not leaving enough margin in my day-to-day life to enjoy the little things. Ouch. The truth hurts sometimes. I’ve been feeling this way for a while now but didn’t have any clue as how to how I would ‘fix’ this feeling of hurriedness, and impatience with my children, and quick kisses with my husband as he passes by in the morning for work, and stressed out goodbyes as I leave the house to meet a friend, attend a meeting, network, and so on – the second he walks in the door. Rush. Rush. Rush.
I prayed this morning. I prayed that God would show me where I was missing His divine hand in my everyday life. It seems like I’ve been going to Him every morning with the same prayer but sometimes I just don’t know what to pray about – so I pray about the same thing. I’ve been asking God to show me where I can make margin in my life. How I can reach more moms, hurting moms, lonely moms, and desperate moms. This morning it became clear to me what I need to do; God will do His thing by reaching those moms and I just need to do my thing…write, love on people, be kind, gracious, and forgiving and through that – I will reach those moms. I just need to be myself. I just need to be me. I just need to leave a little margin in my life so I can hear Him when He speaks.