Helping Moms Go From Overwhelmed to In Control

I Am the Mom My Kids Need

Gabe and I went away this weekend. It was our 10 year wedding anniversary and I told him we needed to do something. Anything. With three small children (7, 5, and 2) you can imagine how difficult it is to have any alone time. Add in the fact that both of our families live in different states and well, you’ve got a recipe for a marriage that gets put on the back burner.

We started talking about our kids on our way to Eureka Springs. Gabe shared with me that he thought I was too hard on Hannah, our middle child. I immediately went into shaming myself for not seeing it how he saw it. I started beating myself up in my head about the many times I had yelled at her or lost my patience with her. I sat silently in the passenger’s seat and prayed that God would take the heavy weight of my guilt from me right then and there. Sometimes it’s so heavy I feel like I can’t breathe. Gabe reached over and held my hand. “It’s okay. I’m guilty of it too,” He said.

I envy how guys can move on from one thought to the next without getting hung up feelings. I was still stuck in the moment of feeling like a really bad mom; one who doesn’t always see the goodness in my kids. One who doesn’t always love getting on the floor and playing dolls. One who doesn’t feel like watching a kids’ show. One who knows it’s dinner time and the kids are hungry but cooking is the last thing I want to do. Even if it means just making a sandwich. “What is wrong with me?” I thought. I prayed for each one of these children and God gave them to me. He entrusted me as their mother so why am I beating myself up about making mistakes?

Well, the truth is, sometimes I am too hard on Hannah. Sometimes I am too hard on all of my kids. But you know who I’m the hardest on? Me. Myself. Meagan.

Grace, Moms, Parenting, God
This quote popped into my head today. When it did, I knew I had to share it. 

So if God’s mercies are new every day…why do I have such a hard time accepting them? Believing in them? And allowing myself to be human and imperfect? Why do I feel like crying the moment someone says something to me about my parenting? Even if that comment is coming from a loving, caring man like my husband. Well, it’s because I cannot do this without God. I am the mom I was designed to be for my kids just the way I am.  I have flaws. I have moments. But I love these kids fiercely and uninhibitedly without any apologies. Simply put, I am the mom my kids need.

2 thoughts on “I Am the Mom My Kids Need”

  • Meagan, what a beautiful admittance of emotion. I feel so much the same so often. Ok: all the time. I think I question everything I do as a mother. This. This is what it is. It’s not without God. Thank you SO much for sharing. Needed this. (And happy anniversary)

  • It’s so hard to get what we KNOW in our heads to become what we BELIEVE in our hearts! At least for many of us. I, too, am one of the “hardest on myself” casualties! We know we can’t be perfect, our families couldn’t stand it if we could! AND we probably wouldn’t have any friends!! God wants us to seek His guidance and build fellowship with other parents, His plan is perfect, ours is not. We can rest in knowing He has a good plan for us and our children!” Continue to focus on His blessings, you and Gabe are doing a great job!!! Being a loving couple is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids!

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